Daily I forget his promises, disobey him, struggle with the ugly weed of discontentment that threatens to weave itself through my very core.
My life is overrun with the mess that comes from a fallen man and my own stumblings.
I struggle to pull myself out of the pit dug with these ten small fingers but the mud is slippery and I fall a little farther back each time. Tears of self pity don't help, they just make the walls harder to grasp. I'm so caught up in the struggle to pull myself up on my own I don't see the Rope hanging inches away from my fingertips waiting to be grasped.
Woven strands of grace and forgiveness lighting up the darkness around me.
This beautiful lifeline, my only key to escape.
How did it even get there? Did I think beyond myself for more than a momentary second to even call out? I highly doubt it.
I'm so focused on each pointless, backsliding step that I never looked up in time to see my gracious, twinkling God drop salvation through his powerful fingers and grasp tight to the end, ready to hold all of my weight.
"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."
He pulls me up and I can see the sunset. The glimpse of a greater glory, waiting just behind the clouds.
And I thank him.
I ask forgiveness for the pit I've dug. And the one I'll dig deeper tomorrow. The one dug with different mistakes and new sins.
I ask this laughing God to open my eyes to his blessings that surround me each moment of each beautiful day. And I delight in his goodness, in his grace on me so undeserving.
For this small moment I can see the greater glory of his plan, but then the clouds move back in and I am left to delight only in the beauty of his word.
"Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
